Once again, I am forced to fill my body with poison to kill the beast, allow masked strangers slice away the aliens inside and cross my fingers that what they choose will conquer this demon.
It's a lot to absorb and accept....I wish it wasn't happening to me again...and I look so bad with no hair, I never mastered the art of wig wearing, and I can't accept my body, so how can I expect another to accept it?
I am making a wish right now...my wish is to allow me to awaken to a world I used to enjoy. The one where there are no thoughts of death or illness. Where little girls like me admire their image in the mirror and have fantasies of princes coming to take them away! Why can't I spin in the mirror in the beautiful puffy dress my Mom made me and once again marvel at how much I resemble a princess?
I want to mark something off my bucket list. I want to do something to free my soul, scare me to death, and make me smile....I want to buddy jump out of an airplane and float to the earth...any one want to offer? Any skydivers out there?
My children are all away doing their own things, family is busy with their lives, so my dear friend (Jackie's best friend) will drive me to the hospital and pick me up after the port is in...I should be home by noon on Monday.
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