Radiation

Sorry for the long time without writing. I was so tired of complaining and sounding so pitiful. But I got a few notes from people saying they missed my blog, so I decided to start writing again.

So apparently the clinical trial I was on was not working because I have a significant new tumor in the site of the primary tumor. They decided to let me do the radiation here near my new apartment. For right now they are saying it will be 10 weeks of daily radiation...well, except when the office is closed, like Saturday and Sunday.

Radiation the last time was quite hard on me, it made me sicker than chemo. I had physical problems as well, so I am afraid of radiation. I know its stupid, but I keep hoping someone has made a mistake and I actually don't have cancer. You see, there are stages after getting the news you have cancer. I started writing the order of what I think the stages are when it dawned on me, I don't the order! I started with shock and emotional breakdown. Then I went to denial. Then I went to the part I thought I would be the one that would survive and never have any sign of cancer again. Then I went back to denial again, then emotional breakdown and now I seem to go day to day with one the above.

So, my next post will be in about 4 hours. After I have gone to radiation (9 different directions of radiation) and promise to write regularly again, if you will promise to read my blog. Also, comments on my blogs are always welcomed!

Love you all! Keep me in your thoughts at 2:30 today!

Sandy