Today I went to get chemo but I was three points below what I needed to get it. If it is not up by Wednesday I may get kicked off my trial, which sucks...but what sucks even more is that everytime I go the doctor's give me a quick check up. That wasn't the part that sucked...the part that sucked was when he noticed two lumps, one on my right shin and the other behind my ear. I quit wearing my glasses because something was bothering me there...I'm hoping it is a bug bite or mosquito bite.
When he found the other lump, I started crying and he patted my back and said it wasn't "unexpected" at this stage of my disease. Of course it's unexpected! I didn't fucking expect it, nor did I want it (pardon my language). I was still crying when they finished drawing blood so he prescribed me some xanax, which I just said last night I didn't take....well, I'm taking it today, but I told him to only write a week or so worth, which is what he did.
I think I'm going to go lay down now...I'm sad and depressed and just want to rest for a little while.
I'll write more later...keep your prayers and thoughts and good wishes coming!
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