The Biopsy (warning...contains graphic descriptions)

Today, I had the biopsy.  I arrived at the hospital early, but did not get taken into the room until almost noon.  When I got into the room it was cold, as are ALL rooms where they intend to make holes in your body.  I transfer to the CT table and am scanned a couple times, the doctor and radiologist examine the images and have me turn with my left lung up, and lay on my right hip.  I do that and again I am scanned.  The doctor gives me an injection of lidocaine and gets out the equipment to do the biopsy, out of my line of sight.  I am thinking this is going to be easy.  I can do this!

He gives my skin just a moment to numb when he inserts another long needle into my side... I can feel it pierce the lung...but this is NOT the bad part.  This is ALL the EASY part.  The hard part is when he tells me to take a breath in and hold it while he slides me back into the CT machine and scans me with the needle in me and pushes it more and more toward the mass with each pass back through the scanner.  I can't take a breath, it hurts, I cry...and start thinking about the future right there...the future of getting that mass out and its not just a needle.  If this hurts this much, I don't want surgery!  Another pass through the machine, examine the image and push that needle closer to its target.  The pain is substantial with each movement of the needle, and I am hoping this will be over soon, so I try to do what the doctor says.  He says that I must exactly mimic the previous breath each time.  The nodule moves each time I take a breath, so it is a moving target!  We finally settle on not taking in the breath, but blowing out the breath...I guess I am better at exhaling than inhaling!

After he finishes the first one, the second biopsy begins...the first needle however, is still sitting there.  He does the same thing with the second needle.  Finally, with great pain (to me) he completes the biopsies and pulls both needles out.  I am happy and glad that it is finally over...but it isn't.  The most intense burning stabbing pain happens the second he pulls the needles out!  I am coughing up dark red blood, fresh red blood, apparently my lungs are bleeding on the INSIDE, and the only way for all the blood to escape is through my mouth and nose.  I can't take a breath.  I am given a towel and told not to swallow the blood.  I spit out what is coming up... I am given one of those kidney shaped bowls and do a fairly decent job of filling it.  I can't stop coughing and bringing up more blood.  They warn me if I don't pit out all the blood I can suffer a collapsed lung, so I am doing my best to clear my lung of all blood the way they ask.

I am moved to recovery.  As I lie in recovery, am given several injections of pain meds, which don't even touch the fact that I can't take a breath in.  I need a shot to help me breathe, to help me suck in one breath that doesn't cause searing pain!  They have called the doctor back to my bedside four times because I have no breath sounds.  An x-ray is done and there is no sign that I am in danger of a collapsed lung.  They won't let me move from the position I am in.  I am to remain laying on my left lung side, and I have my head tucked down to my shoulder.  I am only able to take small shallow breaths in.  I find that if I keep them just shy of where it is painful, I am way more comfortable, so I do that.

My nurses don't leave my side.  I have three nurses in recovery.  Suddenly I realize that Bruce has arrived and is just walking around recovery, like he belonged there.  They are telling him he isn't supposed to be back here, but I am so happy to see him.  I begged the nurse to not send him back to the waiting room, so she allows him to stay.  It is nice to see a friends face, and it calms me, but he cannot stay long...but good things happen!  My friend Suzie shows up!  She has driven OVER 100 MILES to be there for me!  I am truly blessed!  First Bruce, and now Suzie!  Suzie just sits down and is insistent that she is staying right there until I am better.  I haven't seen Suzie for 2 years, but here she is!  My lungs may hurt, but my heart is happy.  How lucky am I to have such amazing friends that are willing to drop everything to be here for me!

A full 4 hours has passed since the biopsies and I feel much better.  Still having trouble breathing, but the shot of Torodol (an anti-inflammatory) has made a huge difference in my pain and comfort level and they decide I can go home.  Suzie goes to get her car to take me home and spend the night at my townhouse!  I am so blessed!

Here I am at home.  Laying on the couch, taking shallow breaths, laying on my left side.  I am finally comfortable.  I take my pain meds and finally head up to bed..and am thankful for the 3 in topper of memory foam I have on my mattress.  Suzie scooches in next to me, Miranda is asleep in the spare room, Molly at my bedside.  I am so glad this day is over.  The nurse told me that my doctor will have the results of the biopsies tomorrow or Wednesday!

I have survived another day, another procedure and will do what it takes to survive this monster and rid my body of it's disease!  Good night!  Wish me sweet dreams!