Chemo Started

Okay, so I started actual chemo Wednesday. It wasn't so bad, I sat there, they plugged me in, and I watched as the drip started and I thought...here I go again. I was sitting there alone, thinking I could wear my big girl panties and do this myself, but in truth, I wish I had someone to hold my hand, chat with me. Sure there are others here, all with their stories.

I wonder if they have thought what I think...."what if this is a mistake?" What if this isn't my diagnosis, but then a brief chat with the young female doctor here says that its called acceptance, and everyone has trouble accepting their diagnosis....especially metastatic cancer.

I have a friend, Suzi, she is going through Leiomyosarcoma, similar to mine, but hers is new, mine has returned. Both are sarcoma's. If anything by this blog, I will bring more awareness to the cancer called sarcoma. Soft Tissue Sarcoma, is what I have, but there is Clear Cell, Karposi's, Giant Cell, Osteosarcoma, Fibrosarcoma (they thought or think I have that too), Ewing's sarcoma, Rhabdomyosarcoma, GIST, omg, the list just goes on and on. Robert Ulrich is the only actor who died of our cancer. It's a rare cancer, like 8% of all cancers diagnosed are sarcoma's so there aren't a lot of specialists in all areas and we are left with whoever is local, lucky for me, I have Sant Chawla, the premier sarcoma specialist in the western United States.

So, I am going to meet my friends, Laura and Paul. I get to go leave with my IV in place. Here goes nothing!